Down about breaking up.

We've all been through break ups, well most of us have at least. There are those lucky ones who find their match first try. Good for them, but I am still searching.

I like to think of myself as a strong person who can handle a lot of things. Who doesn't though? The truth is, I am a woman, and on top of that mess, I am a Cancer. I don't know if you read much into astrology and such, but I have gotten hooked. I don't read my daily horoscope or get too far into it, but I am huge on compatibility and how your sign dictates your personality. You may be thinking this is all a bunch of crap, but I swear it isn't. The Cancerian description, is me almost to a T! The Aquarian description fits C to a T! So what does this have to do with break ups? Well C, is now my ex and it couldn't have happened at a more coincidental time. I was having girls night at his apartment with my best friend and another roommate and we got on the topic of signs and relationship compatibility. Thankfully for the other ladies I was with, all of their relationships are in good hands when it comes to this. Mine read more like warning sign and told a tale of troubled seas. Not long after I left the room, I was met with a storm on open water and S.O.S couldn't have done me any good. As a Cancer, I am moody (x1000) and I have a hard shell. I may be a softy on the inside, but getting through my shell is a challenge. I need constant reassurance and affection and I love to nurture others. Aquarius is a friendly sign, but just that, friendly. Impossible to tie down and always putting friends(hip) first. Adventurous and needing ones own space also characterize this sign. Seeing the problem? Without boring the blogosphere with details of my break up, I should probably be telling myself, "I told you so". I saw this coming before we even got together, but it didn't make it any easier.

So how can a break up be easy? I'm not sure it really can be unless it is clean as a whistle and completely mutual, but how often does that fairy tale ending happen? Can exes truly be good friends after? How long should you wait until approaching that territory? What about break up sex? Can you ever give it a second shot? OH GOD THE QUESTIONS!!!!

I think the best thing after a break up is definitely space and cutting off communication for a while. Don't "like" his/her Facebook posts or @reply their tweets. Forget about texting (especially with alcohol/drugs involved) and that phone call to check up on him/her is beyond unnecessary. But wait, what if they contact you? Doesn't that mean they want you back and can't live without you? No. It most likely means they are just as lonely and horny as you and comfort sent them your way. Jumping back into their arms for a chitchat or sex is probably the worst idea I've heard. Think about this, you broke up for a reason, regardless of who initiated it, and the ballgame has changed. The sex may still be as great as before and they may still be able to make you laugh so hard you cry, but there was that point however long ago that someone was hurt and the decision was made that you were better off apart. That's a pretty big earthquake on the dating plain.

He says, "We're going to stay friends, you've always been great to me."

You're thinking:

A. "HELL NO! I am not ever speaking to you again!"

B. "Yeah, friends, this means I can win him over again when he's had time!"

C. "Yeah we'll see how long that lasts."

I usually opt for A, but I then switch my mindset to C. I'm not very optimistic about the friend card, mainly because I never see it work. I've tried it and it either ends up in giving things a second (failed) chance, awkward hookups, or jealousy of the new girl. None of those are fun and I'd really rather avoid them, wouldn't you? I would love to be friends with my exes, especially C, but usually the idea of seeing them with a new love shatters all of that. In my situation now, I can't avoid the friend card if I had to to save my life. I am just lucky enough that he lives with my group of friends, convenient right? Well it was when we dated, now I don't know how it will play out. I can't/won't avoid him; I'm an adult for Christ's sake. But I can't say I'm going to enjoy drunkenly passing out on the couch when I'm used to having a bed and a warm body to fall asleep to.

This brings me back to the space thing. If you can't resist that stupid comment on his picture or the text "just saying hey!", keep physical space. Think of it like there is a restraining order and your heart will spontaneously combust when too close. I know in my little dilemma, I will end up being a hypocrite regarding this piece of advice, but not by choice. I went to the apartment tonight actually (Flash Forward was on and I don't have a tv) and I was slightly uncomfortable and made sure to leave before he got there. Awesome. But really, in general, don't do it. You will regret it, maybe even cry, and I'll be here to pat your hand and say "I told you so"

Now I think I really wrote this as a guideline for myself. I will probably break a lot of my own rules and be that stupid girl. But so far I'm doing good. The only contact we have had has been playing our game of Scrabble (via iphone) and he liked my Facebook status. I think this has a lot to do with me finishing "He's Just Not That Into You" on the day I was dumped. Day one, success. We'll see how day two goes.

But to anyone reading my ramblings and/or dealing with heartbreak, remember that you are worth more than the loser who dumped you. You don't need to go back to them because you will find better. Your heart may hurt, but don't ever let them know. And lastly, if you really need sex that bad, go to any bar in your town and bat your eyelashes a little (just remember to use a condom and don't stay the night).

I'm a terrible person...with no balance

Lauren

if you were here, id probably punch you for that

2:57pmRodney

wow you would hit a soldier, lol

2:57pmLauren

mmhm

2:58pmRodney

you know that i'm trained to kill right not fight

just so you know

2:58pmLauren

yeah i know, im not scared of you. because my sister is still tougher than you and would kill you 

2:59pmRodney

and if i remember right you fell outside in the rain to so maybe you should fight your own balance 

You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: how are you

Stranger: GOD U

You: god eh?

Stranger: yuh

You: nice to meet you God. I have so many questions for you!

You: How's Jesus and Mary?

Stranger: they're doin good

Stranger: i'll pass on ur hello

You: are the apostles alright?

Stranger: the what

Stranger: what the fuck are you on

Stranger: slaps

Me - WIN

Stranger - FAIL

Les Etas-Unis

Well I am quite frustrated today. There is some bullshit about how Obama is the "anti-Christ", insensitive, blah, blah...but more than that, people love to throw around a lot of historical garbage that is so wrong it's silly.

You can look up the Obama/Georgetown thing if you'd like.

But here is what I have to say to people who love to say about "well our country was founded under Christian beliefs" etc.

Realize the "Our nation was founded on religion" attack isn't really as strong as you want it to be. Yes, many groups who came over here were led this way in search of religious freedom and they may have had beliefs similar to those of the basic Christian faith in this country today. But there is a big difference in the people who came here first seeking freedom of religion, and the men who eventually drew up the Constitution and the men who are considered the Founding Fathers of our nation. Many of those men were actually atheists or to some extent agnostic. The inclusion of the phrase "under God" was not an attempt to declare that this country is a Christian, God-loving nation; it just fit with the beliefs of a good portion of the people at the time.

(PS. The atheist thing was told to me by my most favorite (yeah most favorite, fight me on the grammar) history professor from last semester. And I got the biggest kick out of it.)

YEAH!! 

Oh and then I saw that someone was going on about separation of church and state and how if Obama was in a private, Catholic university, the government shouldn't have had any say.

LADY!!! ARE YOU DUMB???

1. They REQUESTED for Georgetown to cover things, to which the university agreed. There was no mention of force in the article. Although I'm sure if there had been disagreement or force, it would have caused a big stink in the news.

2. IT'S THE MO'FUCKIN GOVERMENT! They do what they want bitches!!! It doesn't matter if it's a church, mosque, daycare, hospital, house, private or public. What they say goes. Get over it or move.

I'm sorry that people don't like Obama, but he is the President. GTFO if you really can't stand him that much and really have to bitch all the fucking time. I realize that he hasn't turned the country into an economic gold mine yet, but my goodness, he was just sworn in 3 months ago; give the guy a break/chance.

I support the dude.

And I support Michelle and her sleeveless apparel. But lady, mix some high fashion in with your normal lady stuff. C'mon, you can do it.

Oh no! An election day post! What am I thinking??

I'm sitting here, avoiding the immense amount of school work that is facing me and is going to destroy me if I don't get to soon. But that can be approached after this.

I've been looking to blog on a public forum again for some time so here I am and I picked a terrible day to start because I am filled with thoughts on the election and the voting process.  I'll be brief on my thoughts on that though simply because I know the entire country is sick of hearing about it but I need to get my two cents out there.

Avoiding bias, my questions to the nation regarding Barack Obama are:

1. If we are truly a country that is to separate church and state, why are we spreading absurd rumors about his faith, that in a lot of cases, are based purely on his name?

2. How many of you that are registered Democrats who voted for McCain can honestly say that Obama's race had nothing to do with your decision?

I have heard so many negative things regarding Obama's faith and race that should never play a role in his campaign and I cannot understand why these things are swaying public opinion so much.

My questions regarding John McCain are:

1. As a country so against a woman in office when Hilary Clinton was running on the Democratic ballot, why are people so enamored with Sarah Palin?

2.  Ignoring for a moment his history and experience, why does his level of respect go up every time he releases a negative ad?

I will never understand negative ads because in my opinion, they are childish and they avoid promotion of your stance.

In an attempt to be brief and avoid bias, I failed. However, I got some things out there.

Onto some more interesting topics in my life that I figure no one cares about, but what the heck!

In 31 days I will be roaming the city of New York, taking pictures like crazy (if I get a camera),

and enjoying time away from my hectic life here in Louisville.

Tomorrow, my eldest nephew will be 9, marking 9 years since my Nana stormed into my 5th grade basketball practice asking, rather loudly, "I'm looking for an Aunt Lauren!!"

Needless to say, that child has been a big part of my life and he means a lot to me. I hate that he is growing up so quickly and that he isn't going to be my little one much longer. 

And his little brothers aren't very little anymore either.

4.5 weeks left of the semester. The first semester that I've cared about. The first semester I've worked my butt off for.

The first semester I'm proud of. This feels good.

I may be getting a car soon. I think we're going to the dealership tomorrow to see about how to get my name on the title as a co-owner or something and we're working out something.

I'm quite excited. Having a car means learning to drive, getting my license and not bumming rides anymore.

I really want to start using my Pentax. Its sitting on a shelf that faces me and it literally stares at me every day.

Anyone who wants to go have a photo shoot, let me know. I only do black and white unless you're seriously opposed and I'm still learning a lot but I'd appreciate the practice.

I really want to get back into using it though. I spent a lot on the camera and I'm not terrible with it.

I think this is enough for one blog.

I may post something else as results come in tonight.

Until next time.

LoloRenee